About the scenario of Luna Park

In 2014, the screened outDoug Lymanx / f "Edge of the future". Despite the excellent criticism and audience reviews, the movie did not become a particularly big hit. But at least Lyman andTom Cruiseworked so well together that they wanted to make another joint film. Some time after the release of “Edge of the Future”, it was announced that they would soon be engaged in a picture calledLuna park. This project has been developed by Lyman elsewhere since 2007. Kinosayty described the plot of the future film vague phrase: "A group of former space workers sent to the moon to steal a source of energy."
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Since then, over three years have passed. Lyman managed to shoot several films, including "Made in America“With Tom Cruise, but Luna Park remained on the shelf because of the overgrown budget. Since the film apparently disappeared in production hell, I decided to read his script, written by Doug Lyman himself, in order to understand whether to regret this loss. And, looking ahead, I will say that yes, definitely worth it. Holding on to reading, I absolutely did not know how magically ridiculous the script would be.As usual, it is easier for me to briefly retell the plot so that everyone understands the inconceivable loss suffered by humanity due to the cancellation of the project. The version I read is dated May 14, 2014 and has 115 pages.
About the Luna Park scenario so that, Lyman, module, heroes, script, rocket, scenarios, succeeds, lunar, everything, accounted for, module, Lyman, time, Through, Next, several, of course, landing, sent

So, Luna Park begins with the scene of the robbery of the National Aeronautics and Astronautics Museum in Washington. A group of thieves led by a certain Cole endure the Apollo lunar module of the project. Soon it turns out that this is not the first such theft. The attackers have already cleaned a bunch of aerospace museums, taking all possible exhibits from the lunar program.
About the Luna Park scenario so that, Lyman, module, heroes, script, rocket, scenarios, succeeds, lunar, everything, accounted for, module, Lyman, time, Through, Next, several, of course, landing, sent

Why this is needed, we will know on the 9th page. It turns out that the robbers collect a Saturn-5 rocket and a lunar module from stolen parts to fly to the Apollo 11 landing site, pick up the American flag installed by astronauts and sell it at auction for a couple of billions of dollars. At this moment for the first time I was ridiculed. And that was just the beginning.
About the Luna Park scenario so that, Lyman, module, heroes, script, rocket, scenarios, succeeds, lunar, everything, accounted for, module, Lyman, time, Through, Next, several, of course, landing, sent

Soon the FBI covers the base of the robbers. They have to throw a large part of the equipment and run abroad. To get money to complete the mission, Cole turns for help to the extreme - the billionaire.In the script, of course, he has some name, but for convenience, I would rather call him Mask.
About the Luna Park scenario so that, Lyman, module, heroes, script, rocket, scenarios, succeeds, lunar, everything, accounted for, module, Lyman, time, Through, Next, several, of course, landing, sent

Musk agrees to finance the robbery if he is also taken to the moon. Having received the money, our 11 Armstrong friends go in Russia, to Star City, located in the midst of endless snowy Siberian expanses. There they are buying from the Russian general an accidental N-1 missile, the Soyuz spacecraft and a bunch of engineers to surrender, accidentally stumbling into the field. Next, Musk hires the astronaut, the drunken astronaut, who is named Dick Slayton in the script for piloting the ship. Thank you Lyman, that at least not Alexei Leonov.
About the Luna Park scenario so that, Lyman, module, heroes, script, rocket, scenarios, succeeds, lunar, everything, accounted for, module, Lyman, time, Through, Next, several, of course, landing, sent

The fact is that Dick Slayton is a very real astronaut, a member of the Soyuz-Apollo mission. It remains only to guess what he was so angry with Lyman that he was rewarded with such a sad fate. And Lyman probably needs to rejoice that the real Slayton is dead and can no longer sue him for such a mockery.
Next, the team goes in Siberia. There, in an abandoned city, they assemble an H-1 missile, using the Soviet high-rise building as a launching tower, simultaneously mounting a single bundle from the Apollo and Soyuz lunar module.After a series of training montages, where the characters are constantly messed up, we are carried forward six months ahead. The authorities suddenly find out about the rocket and send it to the military. Therefore, the heroes have to urgently postpone the launch. The N-1 takes off urgently, and the shock wave takes down Russian military helicopters from the sky. But it is, little things.
About the Luna Park scenario so that, Lyman, module, heroes, script, rocket, scenarios, succeeds, lunar, everything, accounted for, module, Lyman, time, Through, Next, several, of course, landing, sent

You certainly will not believe, but in this script there is not a single mention of vodka. Thank God, even though borscht remained.
In total, four people are sent to space on the Soyuz: the leader of the robbers Cole, his friend, a sidekick, Musk, and an alcoholic astronaut. After some time, the number of heroes is reduced to three. A sudden depressurization happens, in a cheap Chinese spacesuit (and this is not my joke, as it is written in the script) the drunk appears a gap, and his head explodes nicely inside the helmet.
About the Luna Park scenario so that, Lyman, module, heroes, script, rocket, scenarios, succeeds, lunar, everything, accounted for, module, Lyman, time, Through, Next, several, of course, landing, sent

Frankly, by this point I was convinced that the next twist was that when the heroes reached Apollo 11, it turned out that the landing did not really take place and in reality they were the first people who landed on the moon. But no, Doug Lyman was again pleasantly surprised by his ingenuity.
Reaching the moon, the three heroes move to the lunar module,undocked and sent to the landing site "Apollo 11". All, of course, is not going according to plan. Because of the breakdown, they have to sit at a great distance from the target. In addition, the fuel pump fails on the module.
But it does not matter. As you know, the moon is small. Therefore, the robbers decide to go to the "Apollo-14" located behind the neighboring mountains. The situation is complicated by the coming of the moonlit night. The mountains are rapidly icing up (after all, this is exactly how the vacuum works), so the heroes have to make a lot of effort to overcome them on a rover.
About the Luna Park scenario so that, Lyman, module, heroes, script, rocket, scenarios, succeeds, lunar, everything, accounted for, module, Lyman, time, Through, Next, several, of course, landing, sent

When our trio gets to Apollo 14, it suddenly turns out that a completely different pump was used on it. With him, their module will be able to lift only two people. Learning about this, Musk goes crazy (before that, his hand was completely frozen from the defect of the Chinese spacesuit), installed a flagpole with an American flag on the rover and, like a spear, tried to pierce the heroes. Starts an exciting chase. The speed of rotation of Stanley Kubrick in a coffin exceeds the speed of light, and he goes to the past to warn himself never to associate his life with Hollywood cinema.
About the Luna Park scenario so that, Lyman, module, heroes, script, rocket, scenarios, succeeds, lunar, everything, accounted for, module, Lyman, time, Through, Next, several, of course, landing, sent

The heroes manage to get to the module first and take off.But Musk accelerates on a rover on a slope and directs him into the sky against the ship. Thanks to the ax that was well at hand, he manages to cling to the body. With a cry, Musk cuts a path inside the module. Kubrick realizes the futility of his efforts and erases himself from the space-time continuum.
About the Luna Park scenario so that, Lyman, module, heroes, script, rocket, scenarios, succeeds, lunar, everything, accounted for, module, Lyman, time, Through, Next, several, of course, landing, sent

It follows an epic scramble. In the end, Cole manages to throw Mask overboard. He falls to the surface, the spacesuit is completely depressurized and it safely explodes.
This is not the end of a heartbreaking story. Due to the damage received, the lunar module falls to the surface and breaks into several pieces. The heroes have oxygen for only 25 minutes. Fortunately, they have electrical tape. They quickly glue the broken module, take off, go to the "Union" and return to Earth. Evil soldiers are trying to shoot down heroes, but thanks to the help of caring NASA employees, they manage to splash down. Further, Cole falls into the hands of the authorities and is put in jail. After a few years, he goes free and returns his personal belongings - a wallet, a watch and a golf ball, which he picked up from the Apollo 14 landing site. Cole sells the ball and all members of the robbery become millionaires.In the final scene, we are shown that they are building a new rocket. A curtain.
By the way, the Apollo-14 golf ball at the landing site is probably the only thing that has any relation to reality for the entire scenario.
To paraphrase one famous statement, if something looks like nonsense, sounds like nonsense and is perceived as nonsense - this is nonsense. And yes, the Lyman script is a real concentrated nonsense of the highest standard in almost every plot aspect. I hope no need to explain why.
Even if we ignore the absurd plot, the script is poorly from the point of view of the characters. They are simply not there. The main character, who was supposed to play Tom Cruise - absolutely no. We do not know anything about him - neither about his past, nor about his character, nor about dreams and plans (which, in general, is a classic type of Cruise). Lyman gives no motivation, no explanation why the protagonist took on this suicidal affair with catastrophically small chances of success. All of the above applies to all other characters. They are just faceless cartons connecting the cutting of crazy action scenes.
But I would be lying if I said that I regret having spent time reading Luna Park. It's exactly the opposite.What is it like "Room", Only with less-developed heroes, in space and a budget of 100 million dollars. Lyman wrote so unintelligibly stupid script, where almost everything is served with such brutal seriousness that I enjoyed every new scene.
About the Luna Park scenario so that, Lyman, module, heroes, script, rocket, scenarios, succeeds, lunar, everything, accounted for, module, Lyman, time, Through, Next, several, of course, landing, sent

So I really wish that the cinema would most likely not be removed (and if they were suddenly removed, the script would be rewritten 50 times, leaving nothing from the original). If you’ve added scripts to it, the 1969 A Space Odyssey or the Tranquility Base, you could make a wonderful moon anthology that you could see from friends in a long snowy winter with a vodka glass and a borscht plate.

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