How to learn to love yourself?
In today's world, there is a sharp shortage ofsuch a feeling as love. People are absorbed in work, stress, and they do not have enough time for sincere and warm relations. But today more and more people can meet people who do not even like themselves! Psychologists have found out why this is happening, and how to help a person in this situation.
Learning to love yourself
To learn how to love yourself, most psychologists unanimously recommend the following:
First you need to establish the reason why a person does not feel love for himself. The most common are the following:
- A person does not believe that he is worthy of this feeling, does not see any reason to treat himself with love;
- Throughout his conscious life he has not received enough love, and therefore simply does not know that one must love oneself;
- At the moment there is someone who convinces him of the opposite.
Having found out the reason it is necessary to struggle with it. We will analyze, how it is possible to learn to love yourself on an example of three listed situations.
If there are no grounds
It is necessary to find what you love for yourself, to find in yourselfpros. It is to find, because at first glance, dignity may not be visible. But they certainly are. In every person there is something good, it is important to only see it.
Psychologists advise such a method: you need to talk to yourself as if from outside. Imagine yourself as another person and in a mental conversation to find the positive aspects of the person. After all, we often find words of encouragement and good qualities in people who ask for help. It is important to imagine yourself as such a person. This question is discussed in more detail in the article Why should you love yourself.
If in childhood a person did not receive love and inthe course of life no one has shown him due attention, he can simply decide that such behavior is the norm. It's guilt here, rather society than man himself. In this case, professional psychological help may be required, since it is rather difficult to correct the situation alone.
However, you can help yourself, if purposefully andsystematically assure yourself that you are worthy of love. Yes, you did not give it, but now you are determined to compensate, and you will love yourself for no other reason, simply because you are. For more information, see How to Learn to Love.
Most often it has a loved one. Such situations develop, for example, in families where the husband or wife constantly tells the life companion of its uselessness and uselessness. Over time, there is a feeling that it really is, and so, and love yourself for nothing.
Specialists call for fighting this attitude,using natural protection - the instinct of self-preservation. If someone starts to assure you that if you rush into the abyss, you will not break - will you believe this person? Hardly! And here you are convicted practically in the same way, pushing you to the brink of a precipice in which your self-esteem may suffer, and ultimately you as an individual. Therefore, one should not take negative words and statements at one's own expense, you need to put a strong psychological barrier, clearly making it clear that this does not apply to you.
What to do with your own shortcomings
Disadvantages are in the nature of each person and withThis can not but agree. But they should not prevent a man from loving himself. Just the fact that they have everyone and should help less critical to look at themselves. In addition, you can fight against minuses, and then one reason for discontent will be less.
If some character trait does not suit youto yourself, let's say a quick temper or a desire to gossip, concentrate on controlling yourself whenever it shows up. It is not worth waiting for a quick result, but if you show perseverance and a burning desire to get rid of the shortage, then in time you will notice how much easier it is for you to restrain yourself.
There is good advice: if you want to get rid of something you need to convince yourself that you do not need it. For example, you might think "I do not need to be quick-tempered, because it undermines my health, but I want to live a long and happy life," or "I do not need to gossip anymore, it creates a bad image, and I want to have respect and clean conscience". If the principle is clear, you can work on other shortcomings.